On Goodbyes
Endings, Beginnings, and Pre-Pub Day Reflections
I’ve never been able to accomplish a healthy sense of attachment to the things I love, on either end of the spectrum. I love things too much–I cling to them in a way that makes me feel like I can’t breathe–and sometimes, I don’t love things enough. They fall between the cracks inside of my heart–left alone for a while, but not all the way forgotten. Now and then, I have the urge to reach back down into one of those cracks and see what comes up, like those arcade claw games that no one ever wins.
When I was nineteen (picture of nineteen-year-old me being artsy and edgy in a coffee shop below), I started writing this (really bad. I’m so serious–really bad) Young Adult dystopian novel. It was somewhere between Uglies, Shatter Me, and, obviously, The Hunger Games. In my post-apocalyptic world, though, the story I was telling about my teenage girl (who vaguely looked like me, of course) was set against a Western backdrop–at a ranch, of all places.
I named that ranch after my grandparents, and even though I was so sure I was going to see that story all the way through, I didn’t. But I really loved that ranch. I spent so much time thinking about its mountain views and how close it felt to the sky. I thought about cabins and a headgate that were nearly all the way lost when pitted against time.
“To Leo: My Highwayman, my sunshine, and my single drop of rain. I miss you every day.”
Done and Dusted, Lyla Sage, June 2023
Still, though, the ranch and everything I knew about it–including its name–fell into one of the cracks.
The ranch that was named after my grandparents was called Rebel Blue. And eight years later, after more failed novel attempts and some failed queries, a match would be lit by an episode of Friday Night Lights. It would light up all the parts of my heart that had gone dark, and I’d start writing the book that would change my life. I would finally win that goddamn claw game, and it would be better than any dream I ever could’ve come up with.
“This book couldn’t be dedicated to anyone but you, dear reader, for running alongside me as I chase my dreams.
And for Corrine, Leo’s Sweetheart”
Swift and Saddled, Lyla Sage, March 2024
A week from today, the last book in the Rebel Blue Ranch series will hit shelves–nearly ten years after that name first appeared on paper, it’s time for goodbye.
Over the past few months, so many folks have asked me if I’m sad to say goodbye to this place, this series, and these characters.
My answer? Not even a little bit.
Rebel Blue will always be one of the things that I love too much. I haven’t left Rebel Blue’s property line since 2022. It has consumed every part of me over the last few years. It’s part of my genetic makeup–I don’t exist without it, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It has been and always will be a love letter to the people and places that built me.
I feel at ease with Rebel Blue in a way I haven’t experienced. I don’t know if I’ve ever been as content about anything as I am about both Wild and Wrangled’s release and the ending it provides for Rebel Blue Ranch. I did exactly what I set out to do. I told the stories I needed to tell, and looking back, I’m proud of each one in a million different ways. Everything about Rebel Blue Ranch happened exactly as it was supposed to, and I am the luckiest gal alive to have gotten to see it through.
Instead of sadness, I feel fulfillment.
For everyone that got to chapter three of Done and Dusted and immediately wanted Gus and Teddy. I’m so happy to finally share their story with you. Thank you for waiting.
And for my dad, the proudest man alive.”
Lost and Lassoed, Lyla Sage, November 2024
I think about the version of me that started writing Done and Dusted a lot. She wrote most of the book either under the cover of darkness or on her work computer (whoopsie). If she could see us now, I think she would be absolutely flabbergasted. I know she would be proud of us, but I don’t think she would know or understand how proud I am of her. She started this world with clear eyes and a full heart (hehe), and most of all, she had a vision—for the characters, for the stories, for the covers, and everything in between. It has been the honor of my life to execute that vision for her—for the girl that was brave enough to bet on herself, and for Rebel Blue—for Luke, Emmy, Ada, Wes, Gus, Teddy, Dusty, Cam, Riley, Amos, Hank, and Aggie.
I will miss this place–deeply.
“This one is for me—for the girl who had a dream and the woman who made it come true.
And for my mom, who taught me how to dream in the first place.”
Wild and Wrangled, Lyla Sage, April 2025
Before Rebel Blue was anything else, it was the place I went for comfort and safety–a place where I could bask in the sun and watch the puffy clouds move across the big blue sky. More than anything, I want it to stay that way. I want it to be the place I can always come back to, and to come back to it, I have to leave for a while. I have new mountains to climb, new views to see, and new places to explore, and I’m absolutely terrified.
It’s scary to leave the home you’ve created for yourself, the place where you’ve grown and changed and hoped. But if Clementine Ryder and Dusty Tucker have taught me anything, it’s that home will always be there when you’re ready to go back–and it might even be better than you left it.
This is my promise to you, dear reader: Rebel Blue will always be here when you need it. The gate will always be open. There will always be fresh coffee in the pot, a place to kick off your boots, and a place to hang your hat.
“Nothing lasts forever, you know, not even goodbyes.”
Wild and Wrangled, Lyla Sage, April 2025
So, I’m not saying goodbye with silence and tears like the Lord Byron poem. I’m saying it with a holler, a grin, and a promise to come home someday.
Wild and Wrangled by Lyla Sage comes out on April 15th, 2025.
Ugly crying at 9 am 😭
This was so soul-soothing to read. So excited for this next installment!